Relationships: Why Do Some People Hide Their True-Self In A Relationship?



If one is in a relationship, it could show that they are with someone who they share every part of their being with. What this means is that they will talk about what is taking place in their mind, reveal what is taking place in their heart and share their body.

As a result of this, every part of them is typically going to show up when they are with this person. When they are around this person, then, it will be normal for them to feel seen, heard, and connected.

Two Parts

There is likely to be at least two reasons as to why one is able to fully show up around this person. Firstly, they will feel safe enough around this person to be themselves and, secondly, they will feel comfortable in their own skin.

Therefore, while the first part is important, it is not as important as the second part. If the second part wasn’t in place, one wouldn’t have feel safe enough to fully show up around this person, which would have prevented them from developing a relationship with them.

The Main Part

With this in mind, the connection that one has with their own being will be what allows them to deeply connect with another being. One is going to feel comfortable with their own feelings and who they are, thereby allowing them to feel comfortable enough to share their feelings and themselves with their partner.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one will be intimate with themselves and this is why they can be intimate with another. Their partner is unlikely to be any different in this regard.

No Alternative

Now, this is going to mean that one will be vulnerable, as will their partner, but this is just part of what it takes to have a fulfilling relationship. The other option would be for them to hide parts of themselves, yet this is not going to allow them to experience a deep connection with another person.

One on hand, this will take trust and, on the other, it will take inner strength. Trust will allow them to take the first step and inner strength will give them the belief that they will be able to handle what happens if this isn’t the case.

The Norm

If one was to look back on their life, they may see that this is generally how their relationships have been. Fortunately, they won’t have had to hide who they are around the people in their life.

One could find it hard to comprehend why another person would hide themselves around others. If they were to imagine living in this way, it could be as if they are living in an invisible prison.

A Different Reality

However, although this is how some people experience life, there are likely to be numerous others that don’t. When this is the case, one will be in a relationship with someone but their whole being won’t show up.

So, they could share their mind and their body with them, yet that will be as far as it will go. The emotional part of their being – the part that relates to what is really going on for them -will then be hidden.

A Heavy Burden

One is then going to be in a position where they have someone in their life, but they won’t be truly connected to them. Instead of being able to share how they feel and to be supported, they will keep it to themselves.

On the inside, it may seem as though they are happy and everything is fine, but behind this mask, they could feel depressed and even suicidal. Now, this could be because their partner has made it clear that they are not interested.

Together Alone

Then again, one could wear this mask because they don’t feel comfortable with their own feelings or who they are. Right from the moment they met their partner, one may have worn this mask.

The image that they present to the world is going to have very little in common with what is taking place inside them. Not revealing who they are to their partner is likely to mean that their relationship lacks depth and that they feel incredibly lonely.


The only way that one will be able to truly connect to their partner – that’s if this person is capable of experiencing a deeper connection at this stage of their life – is if they are able to let go of the role that they are playing. When this happens, they will be a human doing, not a human doing.

Nonetheless, while wearing a mask will prevent them from being able to truly connect to another person, it is likely to be what feels safe. Dropping this mask is not going to be seen as something that will benefit their life; it can be seen as something that would cause them to be rejected and abandoned.

A Deeper Look

If they have worn a mask for as long as they can remember, it may show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect.

What this would have done is caused them to believe that there was something inherently wrong with their being, with this being the reason why they had to hide themselves. The years will have passed, but the view that was created at this stage of their life will continue to define their life.



If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.


Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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