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Getting Nowhere With Online Dating? - Unfinished Man

In the early days of online dating, it was much easier to message someone and arrange a real-world date. Nowadays, there are much more people using online dating platforms and therefore a lot more competition. Many platforms now require two people to match before either one of them can message the other. This can be an obstacle in itself – you may not even get to the stage of talking to another human being.

Fortunately, there are many ways to overcome these online dating roadblocks. Here are some of the common online dating obstacles and how to overcome them.

You’ve had no matches

‘Matching’ with other users is sometimes required before you can strike up a conversation.

If you haven’t been able to get any matches, you could find that it’s a glitch. It could be worth contacting customer support or resetting your account to see if this fixes it.

Alternatively, if you’ve only had a couple matches, your profile could be to blame. You may want to consider changing your profile photo and bio in order to make them more attractive. These dating profile page success tips could be worth reading up.

In the case of Tinder, make sure that you’ve also swiped through enough profiles in order to maximise your matches.

No-one is replying to your messages

You’ve sent messages to your matches, but none of them have replied. What gives?

First, you need to make sure that you’re being patient. If they’re the type of person that only checks their online dating app every few days, they may not get your message straight away.

Of course, you can increase the chance of them responding by using smart and creative conversation starters. Quiz them about their interests or even consider using a witty pickup line (something original and not sexual). This guide at Zoosk offers a list of several potential conversation starters to try.

Conversations lead nowhere

The final roadblock is not being able to turn a conversation into a date proposal. You could find yourself regularly getting into a conversation which fizzles out or abruptly cuts off. This could be hugely frustrating if you were close to sealing the deal.

Try not to let conversations drag out once they start – keep the conversation with your prospective date rapid to show that you are enthusiastic. Keep the tone light-hearted and make sure that you’re not just talking about yourself but also asking questions about your date.

There are other dating options beyond online dating that could allow you to have conversations more easily. As this site Freechatlines shows, there are plenty of chat line services out there for meeting new people.

Dates get cancelled

The last thing you want is to arrange a date only for them to cancel the date. This may happen if you schedule the date too far in the future – this gives them the chance to message other people on the dating site and potentially set up other promising dates. You also want to make sure that the location is suitable enough for the both of you to get to. Keep messaging them before the date to keep up a friendly rapport so that they feel more comfortable about the date.


I'm a co-founder and writer here at Unfinished Man. I write, manage the look and feel of the website, and make sure that nothing breaks. I also reply to the vast majority of our emails, so if you're sending one through, I suggest you be nice. Everyone says I'm the least offensive of our writers, so they gave the email jockey task to me. When I'm not improving the site, I write about fashion, video games, politics, and anything related to science and technology.

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