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What Porn for Women Can Teach Everyone About Sex


Strap in for some sex ed- brought to you by… Porn.

Porn for women has slowly been becoming a term that is synonymous with more raw and realistic pornography. Not softcore. Despite popular opinion, porn for women really isn’t all that different from mainstream porn, except there’s probably a few more lesbian scenes, and our performers don’t generally look like they are thinking about the hangnail they’ve got. Unless you’re into that sort of thing- because then it definitely exists.

“Porn for women is actually just porn,” say the creative collators at Porndoe a site that offers a specifically “female-friendly” zone, amongst their impressive online collection of erotica. So besides just learning about the subtle nuances between “porn for women” and plain old “porn”, what else can we all learn from the world of erotica?

About Boundaries

Pornography can serve as a really good template for communication during sex. While this strongly depends on what genre of porn you’re consuming, most can show what it’s like to encourage the things that feel nice, and avoid those that aren’t as appreciated. It can give the viewer an idea of what it is that turns them on while unpacking their personal sexuality in a non-judgemental and private space.

This is because porn is most often consumed alone. This can give anyone a much firmer grasp of what it is they are into, and those things that should be less than enjoyable, without actually needing to engage in these activities themselves. It offers a chance to explore personal boundaries on personal time. Giving us the space we need to reflect on our feelings and desires before needing to rush to action.

About Vulvas

Okay, so if discussing lady centric porn wasn’t uncomfortable enough for you- which, if we’re honest, it can be, but only because it’s not something we discuss daily- get ready for another topic that makes both men and women squirm a bit. Vulvas.

For years, I wasn’t entirely comfortable with my own bits. Which is a pretty standard part of owning a vulva as an adolescent. Women aren’t necessarily ready to be all up in their own grills from the get-go, specifically traditionally cis-gendered women. So female-focused porn gives us a chance to really see all the different types and forms that vulvas take. From grooming habits to plain old anatomy, this can be liberating. Seeing first hand that, as far as vulvas are concerned, there’s really no ‘normal’. Just a beautiful spectrum of colors, shapes, and sizes.

Lube is Great

This is probably the best “sex ed” lesson that anyone can take away from porn. Every Adult Film performer knows that lube is absolutely necessary for good, enjoyable, sex. For years, the taboo seemed to hover around the idea that if you need lube, you were doing something wrong- but this, frankly, is a lie.

Lube is absolutely fantastic in a number of scenarios, not to mention it can help keep sex safe! By reducing friction, the likelihood of prophylaxis malfunction and micro-tears to the sensitive genital and anal tissues is greatly reduced. Making lube an important part of your sexual health.

It’s Okay to Be Kinky

Porn for women can definitely help us release some of our own in-built ideas surrounding what sex “should” look like. The real beauty behind the seemingly endless genres of erotica is that it gives us a chance to realize that other people like this stuff too.

Because if people are into it- there is definitely porn made specifically for it. And not just that, but there’s also a wide audience of people, just like you and me, who are mesmerized and titillated by similar experiences. While it’s important to do a bit of extra-pornographic research, especially if you’re considering some of the more dangerous fetishes- like bondage or shocking, porn can give you an idea of where to start looking. Letting you know early that there’s probably a community and a wealth of information regarding whatever kind of sex you’re into.

It’s Okay to Be You

I think perhaps, the most important thing that we can learn from pornography, that you’re absolutely not going to learn in standard sex education programs- is that it’s perfectly okay to be you. It’s fine to think pregnant women are sexual beings. It’s okay to be straight, but really into gay or lesbian porn. There are no problems with your body. You’re beautiful and desirable.

It’s alright to enjoy your very own brand of sexuality, to be comfortable with your body, and enjoy the company of others. Even if you’re all in furry costumes and there’s more than just two of you. That is OKAY. Pornography can help normalize the many different forms of consensual sex between caring adults. And for us, that’s probably the greatest takeaway.

Chad

I'm a co-founder and writer here at Unfinished Man. I write, manage the look and feel of the website, and make sure that nothing breaks. I also reply to the vast majority of our emails, so if you're sending one through, I suggest you be nice. Everyone says I'm the least offensive of our writers, so they gave the email jockey task to me. When I'm not improving the site, I write about fashion, video games, politics, and anything related to science and technology.


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