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Is It Love or Lust? 5 Key Questions to Ask Yourself - Unfinished Man

Falling in love is a truly magical experience. When two people in love look at each other, their heartbeats synchronize. They both feel as though they’ve taken a bit of a particularly good drug. Their brains release painkiller hormones. It’s the closest thing to magic that we have.

But how do you know when you’re in love? How can you figure out if it’s love or lust? That’s what we’re going to talk about today, so read on to learn some questions you need to ask yourself to determine whether your love is true!

1. Do You Know Them as a Person?

Whether or not love at first sight is real is hotly debated. When you met on a dating site and chatted a bit, a large part of it likely consists of a desire for sex before forming a deeper connection. That’s why you’ll want to consider whether or not you truly know the object of your affections before declaring that they’re the one. If the answer is ‘no,’ you should 100% get to know them better, but you may want to take things a bit more slowly than you otherwise would.

2. Do You Want to Know Them Better?

If you’re looking at that last statement and thinking that you don’t want to get to know them better, congratulations! You have your answer to whether or not it’s love or lust. It’s definitely the latter. To love someone is to want to spend time with them and get to know both their body and their heart. Love leads you to want to spend your life with someone, which you can’t do if they don’t interest you.

3. Do You Want to Have Breakfast Tomorrow?

Let’s say you take a roll in the sack tonight and it’s a mind-blowing experience. Would you still want to snuggle with them after and have breakfast tomorrow morning? Would you want to hang out with them and watch a movie while sex is off the table? If not, it’s probably lust.

4. Can You See a Future with Them?

Whether or not you can actually see a future with someone is critical in determining whether or not you’re actually in love with them. If they don’t share life goals or values with you but you’re drawn to them anyway, it may be due to pure animal attraction. There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t lose sight of yourself for a ‘love’ that’s actually just desire!

5. Could It Be Both?

If you show signs of being both in love and in lust, you may be in both. That’s the ideal situation. Since most couples who make it work have active sex lives, you should act on both your desire to get to know them better and your desire to get down and dirty. Who knows? Maybe one day that person will be waiting for you at the end of the aisle!

So, Is It Love or Lust?

In the end, no one can determine whether you’re in love or lust but you. Either way, though, you should follow your heart. You might make an incredible connection with the person you’re dreaming about.

Now that you know some questions that you should ask yourself when determining whether your attraction is all about sex or whether it’s deeper, it’s time to meet new people!

I'm the resident dating expert here. I love women, believe me. Maybe a little too much, but I give great advice. Just try me.

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